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Resenting a Parent: August 29th
2002
........When
you do not send a greetings card to your parents on their wedding
anniversary you add to the guilt which motivates your present
lifestyle to keep you in a state of denial. When you receive
a greeting card after the birth of your baby from your parents
explaining its meaning in regard to who she is named after and
you cannot and do not wish to read it, this behavior is a perfect
example of denial and only living in " what makes me feel
OK". There is an ignorance in all of this, and although
one might be supposedly successful in making a living, this lifestyle
is totally unsuccessful when it comes to reality and spirituality.
It actually is a psychoses and involves all of the emotions and
needs to believe "it" is the way to go.
........The
opportunity to emotionally and spiritually grow and leave childhood
behind is a choice we all can make and must make to reach our
original purpose, otherwise we all remain in the hands of "it".
To explain "it" is throughout my writings and simply
is as follows.
We all, without exception, become corrupted
during our childhood development. No parent is yet to provide
the correct and healthy emotional and spiritual base for the
child until that parent herself or himself has come to a realization
of absolute truth which only originates from Creator. The awakening
and enlightenment experience is always painful and for this reason
very few human beings reach the higher consciousness necessary
to stay within a mind set of spirituality and oneness with Creator.
........Emotions
consisting of resentment - the curse; anger - the judgmental
rebellion; jealousy - the overbearing egotistical feeling; sexual
feelings - the original separation from Creator; addictions -
the ties to "it" because of all the emotional needs
leave us all in a state of denial and "spin" where
we must always flip our thought process to feel we are OK the
way we are rather than facing the painful truth to possibly go
through "change".
........Change
can only come through pain and when we all avoid this pain the
change cannot take place. The molested child stays molested because
the pain is so great and deep and therefore this child remains
helplessly in the hands of "it" to continue a pattern
of life in total misery and denial. This person goes to materialism
and if this is not there drugs because there is never enough
to fulfill their lives. This can be described as possessed by
evil. The error one makes is to always permit one's ego ( playing
God to feel that life the way it is is fine although in the hands
of "it" ) to dominate the mind through all of the feelings
constantly coming from childhood so many years back. If molested,
this is very serious and most likely incurable.
........The
biggest error is to blame parents and this is so easy to do.
Guilt always play its toll upon the emotional human entitity
and the distorted mind which needs to always try to spin its
way out of "it". Blame and be angry is the name of
the game. The cure is forgiveness and personal responsibility.
The dysfunctional family cycle always continues on into a hellish
lifestyle when the change is not accomplished. Materialism is
a serious hindrance to change. The more money you make permits
the addiction to set in more and more and the opportunity to
change and be self-corrected falls by the wayside. What one needs
to be for true happiness is then unavailable because layers and
layers of denial begin to pile up and the lifestyle of this corrupted
mind set is only survival through feelings of guilt. Life then
is nothing but to stay guilty to be motivated to do anything
and this causes tiredness, wear and tear and a need to make excuses
all the time. The rational mind no longer exists and there is
a turmoil of confusion when it comes to the thought process and
decision making. The "know it all" grows as this individual
loses any spirituality or emotional stability. It also provides
the base for schizophrenia because what we see here is a human
entity which changes it moods and positions constantly never
knowing who and what it is at any given moment but struggling
within itself with the guilt and anger. Until this is expressed
properly and sincerely to the source of the problem and to Creator
asking for forgiveness, with the full acceptance of no longer
taking from life but to give to life, one remains loyal to "it" which is the curse. Look to where the allegiance is at all times!
........To
hide behind the ego to try to feel good and to have everyone
stroke you to make you be someone is denial. This dysfunctional
lifestyle then makes you wish to control and manipulate others.
To those who really know the truth, which is really not from
them but through them via Creation, one might say,"You think
you are God". This is because the ego is the competitor
of absolute truth and life is nothing but competition when it
comes to the corrupted mind. However, all relationships are basically
sick in a dysfunctional family. One cannot have a true loving
relationship with anyone here. It is using and abusing all the
time where of course there is no true love but the feelings ego
needs to believe it is OK. In a marriage the wife and husband
use and abuse each other and learn to do things to manipulate
and control each other. For example, the wife can have children
in order to keep the husband in a state of mind where he is unable
to say what is on his mind. During this example, if the the husband
does not correct the wife the wife does not have any respect
for him because she needs correction and is always looking for
it but only then is she to lay her sickness upon the children.
This is the reason that a recent woman killed her five children
with a husband who was unable to fix "it". It is just
a matter of time in a dysfunctional family and of course extreme
example are the best when we must learn from that experience.
........People
do not learn because they live in denial which is the comfort
zone they have created around them to always feel OK rather than
do that which is correct. To them there is no absolute correctness
but the gray areas they created to avoid absolute truth. This
is accomplished by earning more and more money where ever possible,
living off of materialism, and constantly being angry and judging
others especially parents to blame for all of this as the big
excuse. Life then becomes nothing but an addiction to the feeling
gotten out of "it". The liberal mind lives this way
always to spin its way out in order to feel that it is right
in its own denial of absolute truth. Bill O'Reilly is a good
example of demonstrating to the public what "spin"
is all about. And you can see this in his TV show on Fox News
Channel that he has become somewhat angry at those who live through
"it" and he attacks those who live by way of "it".
The possessed mind is basically evil and Bill O'Reilly has reached
a point in his life to be able to see "it".
........A
note here is that without perception, common sense, insight,
and intuition all original gifts from Creator, the ability to
envision the truth and observe "it" is unavailable.
Guilt then dominates the mind and actually becomes the motivating
factor rather than the inner sense to do the correct thing which
now has become invisible and disconnected from conscience. Also
instinct to most people is their way of life which is a destructive
misconception because instinct is carnal and what should be the
means for direction is not instinct but intuition something originally
given to all of us until corrupted. Intuition is a sense to know
what is correct without even thinking about it. The irrational
mind which is boggled with layers of trauma and anger is unable
to use these original now suppressed gifts from Creator.
........Now
getting back to "it". Possibly you have discovered
that "it" is evil. "It" needs energy to survive
and this is provided for through emotions such as resentment,
anger and jealousy. These emotions create an altered state of
mind which must control and manipulate others and from all of
this there is no earned respect. However, one must learn and
understand that all the corruption in us came from parents who
did not know any better at that time and hopefully fulfilled
their life later through awakening experience such as fighting
with authority, going to jail, court cases and hardships such
as doing without money. One must say they are lucky when they
have parents who have gone through all of this and to have the
absolute truth in their midst. The awakening is then at one's
fingertips but sometimes avoided as denial stands firm.
........Grandfather
Bill is a good example of a man who avoided his family and now
suffers because he has been given time to suffer. Creator makes
those suffer in order to hopefully make the change needed. With
guilt the main motivating factor in a person's life, the inevitable
comes around sooner or later because conscience at the end rules.
This cannot be eliminated without experiencing sincere forgiveness
and removing blame, and then to continue on in life being responsible
for every feeling and thought in the mind and at the same time
dropping resentment, anger and jealousy.
........I
had recommended many months ago to go to group therapy and of
course you have avoided doing this. Behavior patterns which are
dysfunctional need to be corrected before the age of fourty.
Once you go past correction, other physical disorder set in.
These can be ulcers, cancer, heart attacks, diabetes and even
serious bacterial diseases. The reason is that the physical body
deteriorates through the emotional lifestyle especially with
so much suppressed anger and resentment. Chemistry changes take
place in the physical body and cause the deterioration. I used
to be a pharmacist and had many years of experience in the medical
field to see this all, which is inevitable. Being overweight
adds to the problem and to have worked out with weights adds
to the overweight. Stomach pains are a symptom but a good message
hopefully to learn from. We must realize that there is a time
in our lives when change can be made and a time in our lives
when it is just too late.
........The
key now is right here. It might take a lot of crying and pain
to realize that one has spent so many years blaming and hating,
and avoiding correction known as discipline. The spoiled child
has this serious problem because discipline is not the order
of the day. Actually it should be selfdiscipline which is learned
through seeing what is the correct thing to do and eliminating
how one always feels at the moment to make that decision or choice.
When the child leaves the home and creates its own comfort zone,
it know longer can experience what it needs to be corrected.
This takes place when one finds friends to stroke each other,
marry a female who keeps the environment of guilt the same where
the interactions remain sick and unloving, and children are born
to make them just the same to become escapegoats for the parental
inadequacies. And on and on it goes.
........There
is no cure for this immature behavior pattern unless some good
therapy takes place. Behavior can be corrected through group
therapy, if that person has a desire to be corrected and hopefully
the ego does not get in the way. Those who absolutely do not
wish to try this kind of therapy must go on to experience much
pain because it is the nature of conscience that is the true
order of all human beings (entities) otherwise it is the nature
of "it' which possesses the mind and sooner or later takes
its toll on the physical body and provideds for a life of hell.